親にはやっぱり「お気に入りの子供」がいた。(研究結果)

親は子供に優しい嘘をつく。
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Sally Anscombe via Getty Images
Two happy smiling little boys

親は子供に優しい嘘をつく。

成績優秀な子供にも、クラスで浮いてしまうような子供にも、みんなを平等に愛しているんだよ、と親は伝える。

しかし、科学者の意見は違うようだ。社会学者のキャサリン・クガー氏らが行った研究によると、両親には「お気に入りの子供」がいる。

クガー氏の研究チームは、4年以内にきょうだいが生まれた384組の家族を追跡調査した。その結果、74%の母親と70%の父親は、どちらか一人の子供をひいきする傾向があったと、ニュースメディア「クオーツ」が伝えている。

親たちは、どちらの子供を気に入っているのかを明らかにしていない。しかし、クガー氏の研究チームはこんな仮説を立てた。「先に生まれた子供の方が、両親と過ごした時間も長く、年上のため力が強くて身体も大きい。だから親に可愛がられていると感じやすいのではないか」

実際、先に生まれた子供の方が、自分の方が気に入られていると感じていた。しかし、結論はそうシンプルではなかった。後から生まれた子供は、「先に生まれた子供の方が可愛がられるということを感じ取る。そのため、兄や姉より自尊心が育つ」と科学系ウェブサイト「Science of Us」に書かれている。

下の子供たちがそう感じているのは、上の子供たちがいつも「最初」だからではないかと研究グループは、考えた。スポーツの試合で勝つのも、勉強でいい結果を残すのも、上の子が最初だ。

また、面白い発見もあった。生まれた順番に関係なく、どの子供も、親は自分以外のきょうだいの方が気に入っているのではないかと疑っていたのだ。「どの子供も、きょうだいの方が親から良い扱いを受けているのではないかと感じています」とクガー氏は述べている。

そう考えると、きょうだいがいるというのは大変なことだ。どちらが可愛がられているのかわからないまま、親の愛を巡って常に競い合っていなければならない。

だけど多くのメリットもある。きょうだいがいると知能が高くなるとか、大人になってから安定した結婚生活を送れる、という研究結果もある。またお互いにサポートしあえる。

年上に生まれるか年下に生まれるか、私たちには選べない。だけど選べることもある。親にはお気に入りの子供がいるかもしれないが、あなたは両親に「どちらも同じように好きだよ」と言ってあげるという選択肢がある。

ハフポストUS版に掲載された記事を翻訳しました。

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