Dog Restrainer(01 of14)
Open Image ModalIf you\'re not trying to cut your dog in half, you have no business using this device. What\'s wrong with a good, old-fashioned leash? (credit:BIPS / Getty Images)
Baby Cage(02 of14)
Open Image ModalDoes your baby take up too much space? Is it too stinky? Thankfully, there\'s this baby cage that allows you to suspend it out your window!\n\n(Photo by Reg Speller/Fox Photos/Getty Images) (credit:Reg Speler, Fox Photos / Getty Images)
Noodle Eater Hair Guard(03 of14)
Open Image ModalPonytails are so passé. The best way to keep your hair out of your noodles: masks made out of paper plates.
Cigarette Rain Guard(04 of14)
Open Image ModalBecause sometimes it\'s raining so hard that even your cigarette needs an umbrella. \n\n
Self-Stirring Mug(05 of14)
Open Image ModalCan you get any lazier?\n\nCredit: ThinkGeek (credit:ThinkGeek)
Face Protectors for Snow Storms(06 of14)
Open Image ModalFor all of those times when a hat isn\'t enough to keep you warm, you can look like one of those creepy monsters from Beetlejuice?\n\n\nCredit: Flickr (credit:nationaalarchief, Flickr)
Neck Cleaner(07 of14)
Open Image Modal\"Five-year-old Tim Gregory wears, under protest, a brush that cleans a child\'s neck without the use of soap and water in Los Angeles, Calif., Jan. 12, 1950. The plastic collar brush will dry-clean the youngster\'s neck thoroughly as he plays. The brush was developed by the Los Angeles Brush Corp. at a mother\'s suggestion.\"\n\nWhat ever happened to a good old fashioned bath?\n\n(h/t Business Insider) (credit:Don Brinn, AP)
Portable Record Player(08 of14)
Open Image ModalSure, records player are bulky, but so are records! We\'re having trouble seeing the point of this one. \n\nCredit: ThinkGeek (credit:ThinkGeek)
Flexible Flyer Snowball Maker(09 of14)
Open Image ModalBecause making snowballs is so difficult.\n\nSnowball Maker. (credit:Amazon)
Baby Carrier(10 of14)
Open Image Modal\"Jack Milford, player with the Wembley Monarchs ice hockey team, has invented a carrying device so that his baby can join his wife and himself on the ice.\"\n\nIce skating is more important to this man than the safety of his child.\n\n(h/t ByuTV) (credit:L.C. Buckley, Fox Photos / Getty Images)
Personal Sauna(11 of14)
Open Image ModalAn effective way to roast yourself to death.\n\n\n(Photo by Yale Joel/Life Magazine/Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images) (credit:Yale Joel, Life Magazine / Time & Life Pictures / Getty Images)
Baby Mop(12 of14)
Open Image ModalAt least the baby will have a great immune system after some time being used as a mop and bathing in dirt. \n (credit:Better Than Pants)
Double Ended Pipe(13 of14)
Open Image ModalFor when you and your friend want to conserve tobacco while also sharing a tender moment. (credit:Ed Ford, AP)
QuikPod Handheld Convertible Tripod(14 of14)
Open Image ModalFor the \"selfie\" addict with short arms.\n\nQuikPod Handheld Convertible Tripod. (Amazon) (credit:Amazon)