Double Hearts Branding Iron(01 of18)
Open Image ModalGuys, when you\'re showing your love by barbecuing a big piece of meat, you can express your romantic side non-verbally by putting these heart-shaped grill marks on the beef.\n\nDouble Hearts BBQ Branding Iron\n (credit:TexasIrons.com)
Ink or Swim Shower Curtain(02 of18)
Open Image ModalTattoos are nice ways to express love, but a little too permanent. A shower curtain with the same tattoo designs says the same things, but you can remove it when it gets too moldy.\n\n\n (credit:ModCloth.com)
Anatomical Heart Ring Holder(03 of18)
Open Image ModalAs cute as the traditional heart shape may be, it looks nothing like the real thing. This anatomical heart ring holder will allow your love to hold her jewelry close to her, uh, heart, while still showing an acceptance of science.\n\n (credit:Michelle Davis)
Zombie Romance T-shirt(04 of18)
Open Image ModalIt isn\'t a weird news gift guide until the zombie-themed item appears. This romantic t-shirt tells your Valentine: \"I love you, but don\'t talk to me until I\'m done binge-watching the last season of \'Walking Dead.\'\"\n\n (credit:Threadless.com)
Valentine's Day Pacifier(05 of18)
Open Image ModalNothing is worse than a cold sore on Valentine\'s Day. This puckering lip pacifier allows you to kiss your love without giving them a sore. Whether they will kiss it instead of your lips is up to your Valentine.\n\n (credit:HalloweenCostumes.com)
Valentines Day Werewolf T-shirt(06 of18)
Open Image ModalHow much do you love your Valentine? Enough to express your love with violently morbid t-shirts? OK. Got a great gift for you.\n\n (credit:Rakuten)
Born To Be A Tramp Necklace(07 of18)
Open Image ModalWhen you love someone, you accept them as you are. This necklace will let your Valentine know what you really think of them.\n\n (credit:SweetRomanceOnline.com)
Pheromone Enhancing Body Spray(08 of18)
Open Image ModalWant to enhance your appeal to your Valentine? You could try this body spray that allegedly increases your sex appeal. Allegedly, because I tried it and, so far, I\'m just as sexy as always.\n\n. (credit:Erox.com)
Kissing Beans(09 of18)
Open Image ModalCandy is dandy but beans are healthier. They are also romantic when the beans actually sprout up with the words, \"Kiss me!\"\n\n\n (credit:Dunecraft.com)
Let's Make Out Pillow(10 of18)
Open Image ModalWhen you want to cut to the chase, pull out this pillow. Please film the reactions of your partner and post them online, please.\n\n\n (credit:http://www.wayfair.com/Alexandra-Ferguson-Lets-Make-Out-Decorative-Pillow-LEMAK-XX-FXO1047.html)
Giant Heads(11 of18)
Open Image ModalWhen you are in love, the other person takes up a big part of your life. Why not express that by giving them a giant head of yourself or them? (NOTE: This gift idea does not apply to stalkers or people who are delusional).\n\n (credit:BuildAHead.com/)
Ivanabitch Tobacco & Menthol(12 of18)
Open Image ModalAlcohol is a great Valentine\'s gift (especially since it probably helped get them to be your Valentine in the first place). Show your love they\'re smoking hot by giving them tabacco-flavored vodka. Show them you care by not making them drink it.\n\n\n (credit:IvanaBitch.com)
Organ Splatter(13 of18)
Open Image ModalIn the course of any relationship, the heart takes a lot of abuse. Show your Valentine you\'re up for the challenge by throwing this anatomically correct heart at a wall. Watch it splat, then return to its normal shape (just like real life).\n\n (credit:Wayfair.com)
I Love You More Than Beer Book(14 of18)
Open Image ModalExpressing your love can be difficult for a guy. The corny words on a greeting card can be as flat as the paper it\'s printed on. Plus, your Valentine will know you\'re just reciting words. This book will help you articulate your feeings in words you actually might say if you were actually articulate. (credit:Rakuten)
Love Voodoo Dol(15 of18)
Open Image ModalYou don\'t have a Valentine now? You will after you use this voodoo doll. Bwahahaha!\n\n (credit:WaldoSluggoAndMe.com)
I Love You More Than Pickles Gift Basket(16 of18)
Open Image ModalCandy is the preferred edible on Valentine\'s Day, but if your Valentine is sweet on pickles, this gift basket is a good way to acknowledge that love.\n\n (credit:AlwaysFits.com)
Shower Water Flowing Love Notes (17 of18)
Open Image ModalDid you forget to get a card? Well, let your lover know you care by jotting down a note on this notepad that works even in the shower. And because you wrote it in the shower, it will be even more special.\n\n (credit:MyAquaNotes)
CandyHeartSweaterPreview_1024x1024(18 of18)
Open Image ModalValentine\'s Day isn\'t just for the stylish. It can also be for people will to wear brightly colored sweatshirts reminiscent of candy that doesn\'t taste good.\n (credit:Shelfies.com)